Friends

The chief difference between a slave and a generic submissive/bottom is the orientation from which each pursues his own satisfaction. Bottoms have appetites that are their own, whereas slaves' needs become the same as those of the Master.

(A bottom can sometime be mistaken for a slave when the Master's appetites and the bottom's appetites accidentally happen to match smoothly. This can be very confusing for Masters when it happens, by the way, and is potentially dangerous for Them. The difficulty is hidden from both of them until the appetites of one or the other change.)

For example, a Master might like His boots licked and a bottom might like to lick boots, and so the boots get licked. But the slave need have no desire to lick boots. Instead, the slave wants to service the Master's desire to have His boots licked and, again, the boots get licked. The licking of both bottom and slave may look the same, but the boot-lickers are coming from very different orientations.

Staying with this same example, the bottom may lose interest in licking the boots at some point and initiate some other activity or simply stop when she/he has had her/his fill. The slave will lick boots until he/she receives some other instructions, or until he/she becomes exhausted and can no longer physically lick.

Both bottom and slave are selfish only in the sense that they all do what will bring themselves pleasure: the bottom gets to enjoy his/her interest in licking, and the slave gets the pleasure of pleasing the Master.

If the slave also happens to love boot-licking, then that is a bonus for the slave, but it is not his/her main source of pleasure. This boot-licking example was chosen because it is such a commonly shared interest and illustrates the distinction, although subtly.

Bottoms and slaves are much more dramatically distinguished from each other when we imagine how each of these might respond to orders, like, "Pick up my dry cleaning this afternoon," or "Pick up the dog shit in the back yard and use your hands," or
"Go outside and stand on one foot, wait for the mail delivery, and fetch the mail," or even, "We are going to look at anexhibition of toy dolls next week at the museum. Read up on dolls before then so that you can explain them to me as we look at the exhibit together."

Immediately the differences become crystal clear. To the vast majority of bottoms, such orders would be laughable. For a slave, each of these represents an opportunity to give pleasure and find joy in surrendering to His will. Monks in many religious orders would associate this idea with their performance of mental tasks as the offering of their labor as an act of love, devotion, and the exercise of humility.

I remember a novice Top asking me during an SM scene, "Do ya wanna touch my big hard cock?" I instantly felt confused. And I remember answering, "Only if that will pleasure you, Sir." It was not what He wanted to hear, and He was thrown off balance. He was dealing with me as though I were a bottom, and my slave response threw Him off. So, hopefully, we all learn together.
-- From the book "SlaveCraft", by Guy Baldwin



"When master asks do you want to do this and you don't (or don't care), but you are willing ... say, "(Only) if it pleases you, Master." That works well here, without having to fib :)
-- priscillina, on CollarMe chat, 2008-05-13 at 1214

Contact information received. Thank you. 

 

Can you put me in contact with Christina "slavette" Parker or anyone who has contact information for her? 

Comments screened if anyone has this information. Many many thanks in advance. 

Yours Truly, 
Education Diva 

 

The Steampunk market is HOT.....steamy. I even made myself a steampunk inspired travel mug corset. Master Archer brought home a promo travel mug that was clear amber and it just screamed "steampunk' so I tricked it out.



( That inspired me to make some coffe cup sleeves. )

Mini Top Hats are big sellers...sold two more yesterday. I'm also finishing up four full size custom top hats. I'm going hatty!

Atlanta creative folks....Do you know about AMALGAMarts? It's a community art school, studio and gallery

This Sunday one of the artists, Brian Gibney, is offering an afternoon course where you can learn to make a sterling silver soldered ring set with a bezel stone. $35..all materials included!

I just got a call from K. Something's wrong with Tigger, my 17 year old baby kitty. She's always been a cranky old lady so I worry that it'll be hard to tell when she's not well. K noticed that Tigger was drooling in her sleep and also this afternoon. She's not a drooler. And when K went to wipe her mouth she noticed an area at her lip like a skinned knee or an infection and she screamed when K tried to open her mouth. She's not as vocal as usual. She is drinking water, so that's good. K's going to see if she eats when the automatic kibble feeder goes off this evening.
We have an appointment with the vet but that's not until Thursday morning. If it seems to get worse or she's not eating we'll take her into an emergency vet. Hope it won't cost too much - as money's tight.
I'm worrying and stressing, while several thousand miles away in London. :( I'm just so glad that K's there.
Any animal experts out there there an opinion?
Do send her some good vibes.

here are photos of our three kids

Tigger on her favorite spot


Tigger and the elusive Yoshi



King David at 5 month and King David at 10 month in the same basket





King David, first week at home and already claiming the laptop and lap. Tigger is not amused.




Yoshi shares her room and her sun with King David

Here are photos that didn't quite fit into my travel report a couple of weeks back.

[Door of Buenos Aires]


( Read more... )

[Architectural Features]


( Read more... )

[Butcher & Grocer]


( Read more... )

[Trail made by ants at the park. They're really amazing engineers!]

Ok, I have animals that need good homes. If anyone was thinking of getting a puppy or kitten, let me know. If you know anyone that is interested, let me know. I have 5 pups and 4 kittens than are in need of people that will care for them. I will be screening people who are interested. We're not talking background checks or anything, but if I don't get a good feeling, they are not getting an animal.

My stupid phone won't come on .... its not even a year old... I know its the battery, its dead ... but ... it won't come on WHEN PLUGGED IN either. I've tried multiple outlets, 3 different chargers, including the brand new one they gave me right before we left for TN when I complained it wouldn't charge last time I went in, and I'm just ... meh.

I really don't want to go to the sprint store in the morning (less sleep? really?) just for them to tell me i bought the phone on-line and there's nothing they can do. *le sigh*

I hate not having my phone available to me. Yes, I'm addicted.

God, 3 more days to go at work? fuck me.

Life could be worse, really ... I'm just tired of dealing with stupid Sprint. and this whole being sick thing is getting to me and I'm getting really tired period.

*edit*

My phone just came on ... wtf ... I swear that thing ... ugh .. pos ... going to bed.

Not everyone values the importance of  holidays, celebrations and traditions.

sigh

Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you've come to mow its lawns.
-- David Sedaris

(I couldn't help but think about rnbowpixy when I read this)

My Mom..then it was my turn....
Then there are my kids:

My kids (missing my step daughter)

oh no :(

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/07/tv.sunday.night.sex.ap/index.html

Talk sex with sue isn't going to be on anymore :(

Again, I am furious and hurt, annoyed and totally embarrassed. People people people people. I am too much of a lady and diplomat to fall into the debate of who does what.

I do not do things in order to get my name in lights or on the top of a page of presenters or to be a show case anything. Some community would have a mayor, fire department, police department, possibly a library, schools, etc., - we have a group of people with simular interests. I run a group that want to know a lot, meet others, share information and experience OH AND it came with a facility that accommodates a area for presenters and a safe place to also play rough if we want to. So that makes me BDSM and snubbed because yes - I have rent to pay and lights to keep on and water bills - oh and don't forget 10,000 square foot of carpet to vacuum and rooms to mop and don't forget three bathrooms to clean and laundry to do and dusting and picking up after the 'community' goes home for the night......it's endless.

My leather is *shocked look* is is tarnished? or diminished in value? or omg not worthy because I don't *shocked look* get anything from the glory of giving just to give because it feels damn good inside. When I expressed that I felt like I had not gone through enough 'rite of passage', I was told "That was not in your control, it is what YOU do from now forward". I am not changing for the glory - I have never changed.

I have goals I believe:
Give a shit about people instead of yourself.
Give a shit about people getting a fair opportunity to express themselves in whatever gives them pleasure be it ; preference of partner, BDSM and/or Leather and/or Fetish and/or anything in between, express sexual freedom in whatever way they wish-between consenting adults, and the list goes on!
Give a shit about freedom of expression and help change closed minds to open ones so that laws can be and will be changed!
Give a shit about people and when they are in need - help them.
Give a shit about causes that strive to make a change and when they can use a helping hand - do what you can.

It is not about who gets their name in neon light on the credit side to enter in a kink gods heaven. How about just do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing.

If you feel a need to just do something good, let me know, there is a person (who I do not ask are you "leather" or "kink" or "BDSM" or "do you run a dungeon" or "who do you know")  who has lost her daughter to suicide that is taking contributions for a fund raiser for the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. The fund raiser is in September so you can think about it if that is what you need to do. Oh and remember to be discreet because of course not everyone understands about this that we do - usually because someone didn't take the time or energy to open a closed mind because it didn't get them any positive recognition.

I am proud of who I am, I am proud of where I have been, I am proud of where I am now, I am proud of the possibilities, I am proud of a high percentage who I am around when I go out many times a month (I smile, shake hands, hug, talk, share, and relate with). The other small percentage - shame on you! Shame on YOU! Shame, shame on YOU.

I wish I could say - there feel better and that is that. But no, there will be those that tilt their head and and don't get it. I am still furious and hurt.  This journal probably only makes sense to me, but I own it, it is mine, I expressed myself, I am the one who thought this, feel this, and own it. I get hurt and I bleed just like others. I own this post - there is not a knife in my back making me write this. I have just seen and read enough for this Mothers Day (or is the Mutha's Day).

On a more positive note - I will call my mom when she wakes up, I will probably mow my yard later today, and I will love my children - they unconditionally love me back. I will have lunch with a friend that I only just met a couple years ago when she offered me a helping hand up after I reached out when I was falling. I am very glad that her friendship has been unconditional too. Happy Mothers Day to me.

beautiful moms out there
wonderful grans out there
to the moms and grans that are no longer with us
to the nanas and great nannies too
to all the women without kids who have great maternal instincts
to all the men out there who've been great moms
to all the moms who adopted and fostered kids - big cheer!
to all the humans who became moms to animal kids
to all the moms that drive us CRAZY!
to the moms that accepted and loved their kids for being misfits/queer/HIV positive/(fill in the blank)
to all the moms who said "sure you can" when the world said "no, you can't"
to all the moms that had to give up their babies
to all the moms that would have been, that weren't allowed to grieve for a lost baby or abortion
to all the moms who helped to keep women's choice free
to all the moms who have and are fighting get the government to wake up and stop killing our kids in wars, incarceration, and fell through the cracks of the system
to the moms who pulled them selves and their kids out of really bad situations
to all the moms who read to their kids
to all the moms who actually listen
to the neighbors moms that gave kids safe harbor when their own homes weren't safe
even to the moms who don't speak to some of us any more.

You may not be my mom, but Happy Mothers' Day

  You know I realized that last year I gave a long spiel about my dad but I didn't tell you about my mom.  I decided to rectify that this year.
  My mom is the person responsible for teaching me to be who I am today.  She is the one who taught me how to wash clothes at a young age.  Yes, I was washing my own clothes in high school and could actually sort them properly.  She taught me how to iron clothes when I was in NJROTC.  She told me she was not going to iron my stuff all the time and I'd better learn how to do it myself.  She taught me how to cook and how to appreciate cooking.  Yes, she's the one who does the heavenly has every year for the cons (sorry, not this year as I didn't ask her cuz I'm not running the suite).  She taught me how to clean house and do it properly.  Yes, she's the reason I enjoy cleaning house.  I also get my stubborn streak about cleaning even when I'm hurting from her. 
  She's the one who gave me the human calculator mind and taught me many tricks to do even complex math problems in my head.  She taught me how to read and how to edit papers.  I've been called a grammer nazi because of her, but I don't care.  I know many people who have no clue about how to use certain words properly and I'm thankful I do know how to use them.  I got my love of useless trivia from her and that's why I love crossword puzzles and Trivial Pursuit. 
  My mom taught me many things and has accepted me for who I am.  When I came out to my parents a couple of years ago they told me they may not like it, but they accept me no matter what.  She didn't blink when she saw the tattoo though she questioned when I'd gotten it (I'd actually had it for a year before she told me she took notice).  She saw my collar/bracelet that said 'in training' and asked about it but didn't press.
  I love her very much and am thankful to have such a loving mom.  When I was growing up, our house was the one all the kids played at and she's the one who made kool-aid for everyone.  I will never forget anything that she's done over the years.  She's been through a lot and yet is always willing to give freely and totally of herself.  THanks Mom.

Someone on Etsy listed one of my items in a Treasury. Evidently that's a big deal at Etsy.

No longer a Treasury Virgin!

(PS...If you are an Etsy member and visit that Treasury please leave a comment...it up's the status of the listing)