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A Lil Delerium-Induced Diddy
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Nov. 23rd, 2007 | 04:00 am
Current personality: 
Delerious
Twas the day after thanksgiving
And all through the world
Not a sane creature was stirring
‘Cept for the coupon clippers
On coats and sweaters
And mittens and gloves
A fool’s wardrobe
In the state of Louisiana
On bargain shoppers
The soccer moms dance
To a tune of dollar signs
In a turkey-induced trance
The pop kit, the ads
Floorstacks and sales
ADA compliant?
Not these aisles today
Morning darkness brings
A zombie crowd
While the elves of retail
Just laugh too loud
On cheap gps, karaoke
Prewrapped shavers and toys, toys, toys (and did I mention TOYS!!!)
Fights over the last ipod
Fun for all ages, girls and boys
Bring on the sales rush
You want to return what?
The holiday straight smile and cheer
“Good luck with that”
The dumb customers
Grin ear from ear
While stacks of work
Go tumbling near
One hundred or two
Tags fly through the retail land
Elves work their bootys off
The manager never lifting a hand
So treat your salesman/woman/person like royalty
While thoughts of turkey and ham
Make you want to vomit
For after all, it’s 6am!
While the retail elves
Rather watch ESPN play
Are chained to the registers
There will be no turkey today
It has already started and yet I'm excited for some odd reason. Even though the pay plans are pennies for this year compared to last I shall strive to make the big bucks so that I can attempt to pay off the bills from last year. I tire of people asking for prices when we have so graciously marked every...single...item with a price tag. LOOK people seriously. I am annoyed with the browsers and those that I know will be returning items on hot friday. Bring on the customers!!!
And all through the world
Not a sane creature was stirring
‘Cept for the coupon clippers
On coats and sweaters
And mittens and gloves
A fool’s wardrobe
In the state of Louisiana
On bargain shoppers
The soccer moms dance
To a tune of dollar signs
In a turkey-induced trance
The pop kit, the ads
Floorstacks and sales
ADA compliant?
Not these aisles today
Morning darkness brings
A zombie crowd
While the elves of retail
Just laugh too loud
On cheap gps, karaoke
Prewrapped shavers and toys, toys, toys (and did I mention TOYS!!!)
Fights over the last ipod
Fun for all ages, girls and boys
Bring on the sales rush
You want to return what?
The holiday straight smile and cheer
“Good luck with that”
The dumb customers
Grin ear from ear
While stacks of work
Go tumbling near
One hundred or two
Tags fly through the retail land
Elves work their bootys off
The manager never lifting a hand
So treat your salesman/woman/person like royalty
While thoughts of turkey and ham
Make you want to vomit
For after all, it’s 6am!
While the retail elves
Rather watch ESPN play
Are chained to the registers
There will be no turkey today
It has already started and yet I'm excited for some odd reason. Even though the pay plans are pennies for this year compared to last I shall strive to make the big bucks so that I can attempt to pay off the bills from last year. I tire of people asking for prices when we have so graciously marked every...single...item with a price tag. LOOK people seriously. I am annoyed with the browsers and those that I know will be returning items on hot friday. Bring on the customers!!!